Thursday night, purely by virtue of existing in a body halfway through its 35th year, I pinched a nerve in my back so badly that I couldn’t sleep or breathe deeply or do anything but sit cross-legged with spine erect while mainlining ibuprofen. Today it’s as if the past 40 hours (initially I wrote “years”, this is the millennial condition) have been a terrible nightmare from which I’ve woken into a beautiful summer’s day, humidity a soft rumour on the edges of birdsong and cool breeze.
I don’t entirely know what to do with this; it has the feeling of a metaphor missing its tenor. But it’s July, and for many of you it’s a holiday weekend, and I wish you joy of it. I hope you’re all able to breathe deeply, to sleep, to do more than sit so still that pain can’t find you.
For my part, I have work to do and I’m looking forward to it, and that feels like a gift.
Tell me what’s bringing you joy, or small pleasure, or relief lately?
I just (yesterday) moved into a house that needs A Lot Of Work, and though I knew this going in it was still a shock to move from somewhere small I had sorted to somewhere large that was apparently put together by a clown. (Some tears were shed) I started today by putting my books on their shelves and this immediately made me feel much, much better and more at home.
Putting up books on bookshelves really does make a space feel so much more like home, doesn't it. Congrats on the move! And my deepest sympathies, from someone who also lives in a house that Needs Some Work.
Oh no! Sorry to hear about your back. I've had a similar experience in the past and it's just awful. Glad to hear it's improving. Recently I've been learning how to paint soft vinyl toys. I enjoy trying different paints and techniques. It's been nice to get lost in the details. It's been a welcomed distraction and joy for me.
Yes, yes, yes. That is the millennial condition. I just had dinner, and what's making me sing is the certain knowledge that breakfast tomorrow will be good as well.
I have four animals who follow me downstairs when I wake up (two, sometimes three, of whom will follow me upstairs when I go to bed). I have a cookie, and a carton of coconut water, and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, and the Mountain Goats. I have a bit of time to sit, and look at the sunlight casting crosshatched shadows through the pergola, and hope the hummingbirds will make an appearance.
Backs were such a terrible idea. I have some bug reports I'd like to file, please.
What's bringing me relief this weekend is the launch of a project that's been utterly consuming my work hours for the last couple months and has regularly made me want to just lie down on the floor. There's still work to be done and improvements to be made, but Version 1 is out the door and my whole team is ecstatic.
To celebrate, my partner and I ordered takeout from our favorite local Ethiopian place, and I am very much looking forward to eating the leftovers for lunch today.
Thank you! I'm excited to get cracking on the list of tweaks and fixes we've identified as our project makes its way into our customers' hands, but for now I'm just looking forward to picking up a smaller project that I had to put on the back burner as a mental palate cleanser.
Oh goodness nerve issues are so dreadful. I'm glad you're able to move and be at ease today.
In my realm, I am trying to save a bumblebee who I found on my front step when I was putting out masks for delivery folks, and it's both heartwrenching and lovely to see this little thing fight for life despite what looks like a really bad wing.
My day today will also consist of plant-care! I have a jungle of burgeoning beauties who need trims or propagations, and I admit I absolutely seek the "new leaf high" that plantfolks get. One of my purple passion vine propagations has the BRIGHTEST fuchsia-purple little leaf and it gives me so much squee :) :)
I'm so sorry about your back, Amal! Glad to hear you've awoken from the nightmare.
Honestly, the weather is bringing me pleasure. It is SO good to wake up to nice sunny days -- in ways literal and metaphorical, the brightness gives me energy to keep going through all the terrible things happening in the world. I spend a lot of time in our living room which has east-west windows, with bright sunshine in the morning and evening alike, and it's just so healing even when I don't venture outside.
Wishing to you a continued recovery and times of joy amid <gestures> everything.
Arrgh, how horrible! I had a calamity of a similar, if minor scale earlier this week, when all the lower muscles in my back decided to seize up for 2 days, so I can only imagine your pain <3. I hope you feel better soon!
Things that are giving me joy this weekend: SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING. I miss being able to swim in the lake so, so much, and it is so much fun to be able to do it on my little island. When I'm not on my switch, I have been barreling towards the end of my novel rewrite, and seeing it take shape into something I'm actually proud of is so nice.
O M F G I ALMOST MADE THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING, I WANT TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING!!!!!! IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE BEING IN WATER!!!! HOW! ALSO I CAUGHT A GIGAS CLAM & IT WAS THE MOST SATISFYING CHASE!!! ALSO WTF PASCAL, MAAAN! AHHHH!
*coughcoughcough* yes it is good it is nice I will never unwear the wetsuit HOORAY for your novel rewrite! Well done!
IT'S SO!!! GOOD!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY MADE IT FEEL LIKE REAL SWIMMING BUT THEY *DID* I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I have not caught a gigas clam yet but that is my Q U E S T for the day aside from catching MANY SCALLOPS TO BRING TO PASCAL
Oh my gosh, ME TOO, on both counts!!! I'm so excited for Christie Yant & Arley Sorg to work together there -- they're both wonderful humans & Christie in particular is an editor whose impact on my heart & self-worth is incalculable.
Thanks. It's my first fiction sale, a fantasy story based on Palestinian folklore. There was a little note in one of these books about witches in Ascalon, but the witches sounded a whole lot like saints to me :P
It's going to be published in a small mag called Stone, Roots, and Bone.
I have definitely been there, too. Having a husband who is a physio has helped with that, but the pain is pain regardless, and even with support, you have to get through it.
I guess finding unexpected connections in my life between people I know has been good this week. A person I know from linguistics land turns out to know a writer I know. The person who wrote the intro to the Honey Month turned out to be a friend of mine from university and the person who did my wedding photography. The web of community is vaster and more tangled than is easily seen, and glimpsing the weave of it is enjoyable.
Yes, she is close friends with a close friend of mine. We used to do stuff together in university more, but I haven’t seen her in a few years since last I visited New York. I’m glad you appreciate it, too! ^_^
Argh! Ouch. I’m glad the pain has lifted. I too have known that feeling of sudden reprieve from terrible pain and it is a thing which alters you, for sure. xo
Just wait. When you hit 40 years old your warranty will expire and everything will start breaking. I threw my back out putting together a tiny shelf for my son.
In terms of relief, aside from a good whiskey sour, I can't suggest much but watching a good movie or reading a good book to distract you from the pain. May I suggest a new novel from an unknown author pair about a Time War. I keep hearing it's pretty good. :)
I have been drinking more tea lately which is such a joy. My friends invited me to dinner last night and we had many many small cups of Chinese tea. <3
I pulled my shoulder this week, and was astounded by how quickly it has gone from pain that means I needed help to sit up in bed to a vague memory, just a few days & nothing like the way I injured that same shoulder last year, where it lingered for a month & I'm still in PT. It sounds like your injury this week was immediately worse than either, but that you have had a similarly miraculous shift from bright consuming pain to shocking freedom of awareness. I'm so glad it has eased!
My joy this week is that I have joined the cult of snail! I have been experimenting with the Benton snail bee steam cream; I picked up the sample pack you had linked to so thank you for that. My skin feels so weirdly plump and it is delightful.
I hope your tomorrow is yet more lovely than today!
The millennial condition--you got that right, sister. Every time I get up from my office chair, I have to rearrange my entire physical configuration. I just tell myself that makes me no different from Optimus Prime.
My latest happiness is that I've finally finished tweaking my falafel recipe. I've been chasing this down since I first had it in Israel in 1999. Been working literally my entire adult life to make it work the way I want. Last night's dinner was like being seventeen again. I slept like a damn rock last night. Major life goal complete.
I’m glad your back is feeling better!
I just (yesterday) moved into a house that needs A Lot Of Work, and though I knew this going in it was still a shock to move from somewhere small I had sorted to somewhere large that was apparently put together by a clown. (Some tears were shed) I started today by putting my books on their shelves and this immediately made me feel much, much better and more at home.
Putting up books on bookshelves really does make a space feel so much more like home, doesn't it. Congrats on the move! And my deepest sympathies, from someone who also lives in a house that Needs Some Work.
Oh no! Sorry to hear about your back. I've had a similar experience in the past and it's just awful. Glad to hear it's improving. Recently I've been learning how to paint soft vinyl toys. I enjoy trying different paints and techniques. It's been nice to get lost in the details. It's been a welcomed distraction and joy for me.
Yes, yes, yes. That is the millennial condition. I just had dinner, and what's making me sing is the certain knowledge that breakfast tomorrow will be good as well.
I'm so glad your back is doing better, Amal.
I have four animals who follow me downstairs when I wake up (two, sometimes three, of whom will follow me upstairs when I go to bed). I have a cookie, and a carton of coconut water, and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, and the Mountain Goats. I have a bit of time to sit, and look at the sunlight casting crosshatched shadows through the pergola, and hope the hummingbirds will make an appearance.
This is so beautiful!! I hope you see hummingbirds too!
Backs were such a terrible idea. I have some bug reports I'd like to file, please.
What's bringing me relief this weekend is the launch of a project that's been utterly consuming my work hours for the last couple months and has regularly made me want to just lie down on the floor. There's still work to be done and improvements to be made, but Version 1 is out the door and my whole team is ecstatic.
To celebrate, my partner and I ordered takeout from our favorite local Ethiopian place, and I am very much looking forward to eating the leftovers for lunch today.
Hail to thee, fellow luncher of leftovers! And huge congratulations on getting Version 1 out the door--you're amazing! Well done!
Thank you! I'm excited to get cracking on the list of tweaks and fixes we've identified as our project makes its way into our customers' hands, but for now I'm just looking forward to picking up a smaller project that I had to put on the back burner as a mental palate cleanser.
Oh goodness nerve issues are so dreadful. I'm glad you're able to move and be at ease today.
In my realm, I am trying to save a bumblebee who I found on my front step when I was putting out masks for delivery folks, and it's both heartwrenching and lovely to see this little thing fight for life despite what looks like a really bad wing.
My day today will also consist of plant-care! I have a jungle of burgeoning beauties who need trims or propagations, and I admit I absolutely seek the "new leaf high" that plantfolks get. One of my purple passion vine propagations has the BRIGHTEST fuchsia-purple little leaf and it gives me so much squee :) :)
Plus, we saved Hamilton for today.
I'm so sorry about your back, Amal! Glad to hear you've awoken from the nightmare.
Honestly, the weather is bringing me pleasure. It is SO good to wake up to nice sunny days -- in ways literal and metaphorical, the brightness gives me energy to keep going through all the terrible things happening in the world. I spend a lot of time in our living room which has east-west windows, with bright sunshine in the morning and evening alike, and it's just so healing even when I don't venture outside.
Wishing to you a continued recovery and times of joy amid <gestures> everything.
Arrgh, how horrible! I had a calamity of a similar, if minor scale earlier this week, when all the lower muscles in my back decided to seize up for 2 days, so I can only imagine your pain <3. I hope you feel better soon!
Things that are giving me joy this weekend: SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING. I miss being able to swim in the lake so, so much, and it is so much fun to be able to do it on my little island. When I'm not on my switch, I have been barreling towards the end of my novel rewrite, and seeing it take shape into something I'm actually proud of is so nice.
O M F G I ALMOST MADE THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING, I WANT TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT SWIMMING IN ANIMAL CROSSING!!!!!! IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE BEING IN WATER!!!! HOW! ALSO I CAUGHT A GIGAS CLAM & IT WAS THE MOST SATISFYING CHASE!!! ALSO WTF PASCAL, MAAAN! AHHHH!
*coughcoughcough* yes it is good it is nice I will never unwear the wetsuit HOORAY for your novel rewrite! Well done!
IT'S SO!!! GOOD!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY MADE IT FEEL LIKE REAL SWIMMING BUT THEY *DID* I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I have not caught a gigas clam yet but that is my Q U E S T for the day aside from catching MANY SCALLOPS TO BRING TO PASCAL
I hope you feel better soon!
As for joy, it's hard to beat all of the love for Palestinian SFF that's going around. And Fantasy Magazine relaunching, that filled my heart too.
Oh my gosh, ME TOO, on both counts!!! I'm so excited for Christie Yant & Arley Sorg to work together there -- they're both wonderful humans & Christie in particular is an editor whose impact on my heart & self-worth is incalculable.
Some of my absolute favourite fantasy came from Fantasy Mag. I adore their People of Color Destroy Fantasy issue in particular.
Oh, speaking of happy things, I got my first sale. I can't believe I forgot-- it was literally only yesterday. lol Can I blame quarantine brain?
SONIA!!!! Congratulations!! Where! When will it be readable by general public!! AHHH HOW GREAT!
Thanks. It's my first fiction sale, a fantasy story based on Palestinian folklore. There was a little note in one of these books about witches in Ascalon, but the witches sounded a whole lot like saints to me :P
It's going to be published in a small mag called Stone, Roots, and Bone.
I have definitely been there, too. Having a husband who is a physio has helped with that, but the pain is pain regardless, and even with support, you have to get through it.
I guess finding unexpected connections in my life between people I know has been good this week. A person I know from linguistics land turns out to know a writer I know. The person who wrote the intro to the Honey Month turned out to be a friend of mine from university and the person who did my wedding photography. The web of community is vaster and more tangled than is easily seen, and glimpsing the weave of it is enjoyable.
Oh my gosh, WHAT!!! You know Danielle!! Her amazing photography!!! Ahhh!! Oh, that's so beautiful, thank you for telling me!
Yes, she is close friends with a close friend of mine. We used to do stuff together in university more, but I haven’t seen her in a few years since last I visited New York. I’m glad you appreciate it, too! ^_^
Argh! Ouch. I’m glad the pain has lifted. I too have known that feeling of sudden reprieve from terrible pain and it is a thing which alters you, for sure. xo
Thank you, & it really, really does! PS I miss you so much!
Darling, I miss you, too. 💗
Kind words. :)
Hope you feel better soon, Amal.
Thank you Charles! <3
Just wait. When you hit 40 years old your warranty will expire and everything will start breaking. I threw my back out putting together a tiny shelf for my son.
In terms of relief, aside from a good whiskey sour, I can't suggest much but watching a good movie or reading a good book to distract you from the pain. May I suggest a new novel from an unknown author pair about a Time War. I keep hearing it's pretty good. :)
I have been drinking more tea lately which is such a joy. My friends invited me to dinner last night and we had many many small cups of Chinese tea. <3
I hope your back calms down!
I pulled my shoulder this week, and was astounded by how quickly it has gone from pain that means I needed help to sit up in bed to a vague memory, just a few days & nothing like the way I injured that same shoulder last year, where it lingered for a month & I'm still in PT. It sounds like your injury this week was immediately worse than either, but that you have had a similarly miraculous shift from bright consuming pain to shocking freedom of awareness. I'm so glad it has eased!
My joy this week is that I have joined the cult of snail! I have been experimenting with the Benton snail bee steam cream; I picked up the sample pack you had linked to so thank you for that. My skin feels so weirdly plump and it is delightful.
I hope your tomorrow is yet more lovely than today!
The millennial condition--you got that right, sister. Every time I get up from my office chair, I have to rearrange my entire physical configuration. I just tell myself that makes me no different from Optimus Prime.
My latest happiness is that I've finally finished tweaking my falafel recipe. I've been chasing this down since I first had it in Israel in 1999. Been working literally my entire adult life to make it work the way I want. Last night's dinner was like being seventeen again. I slept like a damn rock last night. Major life goal complete.
I'm so sorry about your back. I hope you are feeling some relief.
For me, my garden, birds, and myriad critters are my biggest source of joy.