I’ve missed so many Fridays! A colleague once said to me “November is a bear,” and didn’t need to elaborate, even though bears can be many things; in this case, Novembear is both hungry and sluggish, an enormous danger and misleadingly cozy, a looming dark shape full of teeth but also, mercifully, gone now into deep winter rest.
Mostly today I just want to touch base. How are you doing? What’s been going on with you? I’d love to know what thing, no matter how small, has been making things better for you.
I wanted to share something that I’d usually put into a more promotional Letter of News, but it made me so happy and so profoundly grateful that I want to unfold it here: Jake Casella Brookins wrote about This Is How You Lose the Time War for Ancillary Review of Books in a way that feels like a deep tissue massage. Reading this essay felt like watching a cormorant dive deep underwater and then surface and take flight, glittering drops of river in its wake.
Besides that, I baked a sourdough loaf for the first time, thanks to a gift of starter from my mama, and it came out beautifully — it’s absolutely the most delicious bread I’ve ever made.
The world is a blur, but I am enjoying digging in my garden to clear bricks, soil and rubble to make space for a hot tub, which will go beside the tiny writing / guest hut at the bottom of my small suburban garden. My brain is saturated and tired, but my hands are happy in the mud.
Oh what a lovely bread you have nurtured into being! I am glad it tastes wonderful.
Tonight I opened a package of beeswax candles from alysiamazzella.com and it was pure homey, centering joy: everything packed in kraft paper and buttery tissue and tied off with thread and smelling of sunlight and honey. I am trying to lean into that sort of experience as much as possible.
That bread looks amazing!! And thank you for sharing that review, it's fantastic and manages to capture a lot of what I loved about Time War and then some. I especially loved that last line, about how art works not because it creates but because it finds.
I am also really happy November is over. December brings a whole different kind of mood, I am especially homesick this month as I usually go back home to Beirut this time of year but can't this time around. So I'm instead looking forward to spending a lot of time consuming, reading about and making art, and then excitedly ranting to my partner about it. :)
So, should I send you my address for the bread? How do we do this? :P Bread looks fantastic! Hmmm... something that made me happy... For TG break, we went up to the Catskills. I didn't check Twitter for 5 days and spent my time either reading a huge backlog of graphic novels and comics or fussing over the wood fire. It was peaceful and fun (sometimes those two things seem incompatible, especially int he city...)
I've been trying to focus on checking in on friends and showing kindness when I feel angry at the world. (And that sentence just made me sound like the most self-righteous prig in the world. Is it any less sanctimonious if I emphasize how very bad at all that I really am?)
Also this week I made some pear sandwiches on cranberry-pistachio bread (store-bought) with cream cheese, and then a Blue Apron risotto with saffron and sauteed zucchini. Good food helps take the edge off things, doesn't it?
I'm not normally that into the Christmas aesthetic, but faced with spending a Christmas alone in our flat, Julien and I have decided to lean into some of the tangible symbols... leading to our new Christmas tree, decorated with ornaments featuring characters from Hades. (Courtesy of Julien, obviously.) It makes me happy. :D As does planning the menu for the entire last week of December.
Yay Amal Friday post!! I have had a long, tough week, and boy am I ready for the weekend. I am marathoning Netflix documentaries and trying my best to recharge. Very little creative time this week :(
Mainly like I am trying to hold on 3 more weeks. I think I can do it. I’ve been letting myself just sink into a novel for a day the last few weeks, and that’s helped. I did Optic Nerve by María Gainza last week; Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan the one before. This one, I’m going back to Bulgaria with Garth Greenwell’s Cleanness. I think I need to get out there now. And this has been enough.
The world is a blur, but I am enjoying digging in my garden to clear bricks, soil and rubble to make space for a hot tub, which will go beside the tiny writing / guest hut at the bottom of my small suburban garden. My brain is saturated and tired, but my hands are happy in the mud.
Taking time to enjoy coffee, either alone or with family, has been really supporting me through the pandemic.
Oh what a lovely bread you have nurtured into being! I am glad it tastes wonderful.
Tonight I opened a package of beeswax candles from alysiamazzella.com and it was pure homey, centering joy: everything packed in kraft paper and buttery tissue and tied off with thread and smelling of sunlight and honey. I am trying to lean into that sort of experience as much as possible.
That bread looks amazing!! And thank you for sharing that review, it's fantastic and manages to capture a lot of what I loved about Time War and then some. I especially loved that last line, about how art works not because it creates but because it finds.
I am also really happy November is over. December brings a whole different kind of mood, I am especially homesick this month as I usually go back home to Beirut this time of year but can't this time around. So I'm instead looking forward to spending a lot of time consuming, reading about and making art, and then excitedly ranting to my partner about it. :)
So, should I send you my address for the bread? How do we do this? :P Bread looks fantastic! Hmmm... something that made me happy... For TG break, we went up to the Catskills. I didn't check Twitter for 5 days and spent my time either reading a huge backlog of graphic novels and comics or fussing over the wood fire. It was peaceful and fun (sometimes those two things seem incompatible, especially int he city...)
Your bread looks delicious!
I've been trying to focus on checking in on friends and showing kindness when I feel angry at the world. (And that sentence just made me sound like the most self-righteous prig in the world. Is it any less sanctimonious if I emphasize how very bad at all that I really am?)
Also this week I made some pear sandwiches on cranberry-pistachio bread (store-bought) with cream cheese, and then a Blue Apron risotto with saffron and sauteed zucchini. Good food helps take the edge off things, doesn't it?
I'm not normally that into the Christmas aesthetic, but faced with spending a Christmas alone in our flat, Julien and I have decided to lean into some of the tangible symbols... leading to our new Christmas tree, decorated with ornaments featuring characters from Hades. (Courtesy of Julien, obviously.) It makes me happy. :D As does planning the menu for the entire last week of December.
Yay Amal Friday post!! I have had a long, tough week, and boy am I ready for the weekend. I am marathoning Netflix documentaries and trying my best to recharge. Very little creative time this week :(
That is some lovely bread! Well done!
Mainly like I am trying to hold on 3 more weeks. I think I can do it. I’ve been letting myself just sink into a novel for a day the last few weeks, and that’s helped. I did Optic Nerve by María Gainza last week; Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan the one before. This one, I’m going back to Bulgaria with Garth Greenwell’s Cleanness. I think I need to get out there now. And this has been enough.
Glad you're doing well Amal!
Work is busy, mold is growing in the bathroom, but all is relatively well here.
Oh, that looks so good I can smell it.