Thanks to WandaVision Stu and I have settled into a weekly ritual that feels drawn from the Beforetimes: on Fridays I finish work a little earlier than the rest of the week, then we go for a long walk together, then we order take-out and settle in with the show. It’s mundane and wonderful and I start looking forward to it again more or less the second the episode ends.
I’m not sure whether we’ll keep up with this after the finale (next week?!), because so much of why it’s working is the constraint of an event to anticipate; even though it’s not airing at a set time (being made available on Disney+ at 12:01 PST isn’t quite the same thing), the once-a-week release coupled with the intense desire not to be spoiled means I spend almost all of Friday blissfully internet-absent, keenly aware of the day it is and the time it is and that something like joy is coming.
I have a lot more to say about WandaVision, which is incredible and which is breaking me, but for now, I just want to ask whether you’ve developed any quiet, small rituals, whether for the marking of time in an inchoate period or the structuring of enjoyment or the comfort of simple pleasure. Please share them if you’re comfortable doing so, or share how things are going? I hope they’re going ok.
Here are some sun-and-shadow cats to ease you into the weekend.
Shabbat is the first ritual that comes to mind. Without it, I feel like I'd hardly know what day of the week it is. In general, the Jewish ritual calendar has really kept me anchored, because it's common to think of holidays not only in their own terms but in terms of how long it will be to the next one. Tu B'Shevat means one month to Purim. Purim begins the month of preparing for Pesach. After Pesach is the seven-week Omer count to Shavuot. Another seven weeks brings us to Rosh Hashanah. It's like going up a series of hills, and from the top of each one you can see the next valley and hill ahead.
It's not precisely a ritual, but I check the date every day when I medicate the cat (because I rub the goop into her left ear on even-numbered dates and into her right ear on odd-numbered days), and that also helps keep me anchored and mark the passing of time. Someone said "How is it the end of February already?!" and I don't tend to have that sort of feeling. The month passes one day at a time, neither faster nor slower.
Pre-pandemic I wasn't the best at keeping plants alive because of forgetting to water them for stretches on end, being away and then brain-fried from work. Now that I'm (luckily, gratefully) working from home, I'm a lot more conscious of them and can water them during the day.
My elderly neighbor is moving house, and is a huge plant fiend, and gave me a whole bunch of plants he couldn't take with him. Now every Tuesday during my lunch break between meetings I move all the smaller plants into the shower and give them a good drenching, and then move them back into my office after work once they've drip-dried. It is nice to have space to care for them.
I've been having a super hard time with things like that. At the beginning of last year, I had all sorts of routines and rituals and one by one they have fallen by the wayside.
I decided to try doing InCoWriMo (International Correspondence Writing Month) this month, thinking that it would be fun but also that it might help me to have a ritual & a routine, even if it was just for a month. I thought maybe the momentum would help me build up new rituals and routines. I'd just heard of it the day before it was to begin. You write a letter to someone every day for the month of February. You can write to the same person or to a new person every day, to someone you know or strangers; whatever you want.
So I decided I'd mostly write to people who had also signed up, a new stranger each day. Some are in the US, some are in other countries. Today's, though, was to one of my best and oldest friends; we used to write each other Real Letters all the time, once upon a time, and I've saved every one of them. I'd already been planning to write her one of February's letters, and yesterday she sent me an amazing email, about a beautiful dream she had that I was in, so I decided rather than email a reply, I'd write her that letter.
So, it's been a nice ritual this month; after coffee and breakfast, I go upstairs to my office and sit down at my desk and write a letter to someone new, with fancy pens, and an aim toward personalizing it as much as I can based on what little knowledge I have of them, and put pretty stamps on the envelope, and then it goes in the mailbox.
I am starting to feel kind of worn thin, though, not sure if it's just general pandemic fatigue or if my hands are tired or what, but although I'm enjoying this a lot, I'm...I don't know. I'm exhausted, honestly.
But, once February is over, I do have some letters that I've gotten in reply (or just sent cold to me as I've been sending cold to others), so that will be a nice ritual for March. And I'm planning to build a ritual of exercise, which is one of the things that fell apart last year.
Oh and I'm loving WandaVision, though speaking of cold, I'm coming into it a bit cold because I didn't really know much about it prior, so I'm just kind of watching it starting from a a bit of a blank slate. Haven't watched tonight's yet.
Some of my rituals are very simple -- closing my work computer when I am done for the day, putting it away in a quiet safe place in my night table where it will not trouble me until the next work day. Others are more elaborate, such as celebrating successes at work or writing or any area of life by cooking an epic meal. I fully agree with you -- rituals really help ground me, and have made this time a little more palatable than it otherwise would have been :)
I started journaling after dinner, and it feels like a nice way to set off the evening? I can sort through my feelings before bedtime and I think it's helping. Also my skincare routine mornings and evenings has turned into a sort of ritual that let's me either build myself up for the day, or unwind before bedtime. I feel like I'm taking care of myself, AND it's relaxing.
After reading a few of these comments, I wish I could honor them better.
I've been having my kid read to me at night. We were supposed to have been doing that all along, and it's honestly borne more of a desire to keep her from falling behind (that desire is on the shelf of "things to be examined later") than from any heartwarming urge to create memories. And in practice, it's not beautiful or comforting in the moment. Because really - early chapbooks aren't the most gripping reading material out there unless you're 7.
It'll matter someday, though. For now, that's enough.
We always have two to three shows we cycle through of an evening, over dinner and dessert. Always one longer, more in-depth thing and one shorter show that’s easy/cozy in some way. Or at least something short without subtitles, as our recent longer shows tended to be non-Anglophone. That’s a current ritual. I used to always pick up a midday coffee from our cafe in the before times. There is less excuse to be out running errands so these days I just make midday tea.
Shabbat is the first ritual that comes to mind. Without it, I feel like I'd hardly know what day of the week it is. In general, the Jewish ritual calendar has really kept me anchored, because it's common to think of holidays not only in their own terms but in terms of how long it will be to the next one. Tu B'Shevat means one month to Purim. Purim begins the month of preparing for Pesach. After Pesach is the seven-week Omer count to Shavuot. Another seven weeks brings us to Rosh Hashanah. It's like going up a series of hills, and from the top of each one you can see the next valley and hill ahead.
It's not precisely a ritual, but I check the date every day when I medicate the cat (because I rub the goop into her left ear on even-numbered dates and into her right ear on odd-numbered days), and that also helps keep me anchored and mark the passing of time. Someone said "How is it the end of February already?!" and I don't tend to have that sort of feeling. The month passes one day at a time, neither faster nor slower.
Pre-pandemic I wasn't the best at keeping plants alive because of forgetting to water them for stretches on end, being away and then brain-fried from work. Now that I'm (luckily, gratefully) working from home, I'm a lot more conscious of them and can water them during the day.
My elderly neighbor is moving house, and is a huge plant fiend, and gave me a whole bunch of plants he couldn't take with him. Now every Tuesday during my lunch break between meetings I move all the smaller plants into the shower and give them a good drenching, and then move them back into my office after work once they've drip-dried. It is nice to have space to care for them.
Every weekend, I treat myself out to take-out from one of my favorite restaurants, since I feel indoor dining is unsafe.
And of course, mailing you postcards once a week. (I usually make it the same trip to reduce travel.)
I've been having a super hard time with things like that. At the beginning of last year, I had all sorts of routines and rituals and one by one they have fallen by the wayside.
I decided to try doing InCoWriMo (International Correspondence Writing Month) this month, thinking that it would be fun but also that it might help me to have a ritual & a routine, even if it was just for a month. I thought maybe the momentum would help me build up new rituals and routines. I'd just heard of it the day before it was to begin. You write a letter to someone every day for the month of February. You can write to the same person or to a new person every day, to someone you know or strangers; whatever you want.
So I decided I'd mostly write to people who had also signed up, a new stranger each day. Some are in the US, some are in other countries. Today's, though, was to one of my best and oldest friends; we used to write each other Real Letters all the time, once upon a time, and I've saved every one of them. I'd already been planning to write her one of February's letters, and yesterday she sent me an amazing email, about a beautiful dream she had that I was in, so I decided rather than email a reply, I'd write her that letter.
So, it's been a nice ritual this month; after coffee and breakfast, I go upstairs to my office and sit down at my desk and write a letter to someone new, with fancy pens, and an aim toward personalizing it as much as I can based on what little knowledge I have of them, and put pretty stamps on the envelope, and then it goes in the mailbox.
I am starting to feel kind of worn thin, though, not sure if it's just general pandemic fatigue or if my hands are tired or what, but although I'm enjoying this a lot, I'm...I don't know. I'm exhausted, honestly.
But, once February is over, I do have some letters that I've gotten in reply (or just sent cold to me as I've been sending cold to others), so that will be a nice ritual for March. And I'm planning to build a ritual of exercise, which is one of the things that fell apart last year.
Oh and I'm loving WandaVision, though speaking of cold, I'm coming into it a bit cold because I didn't really know much about it prior, so I'm just kind of watching it starting from a a bit of a blank slate. Haven't watched tonight's yet.
Cats! So happy to see cats!!
Some of my rituals are very simple -- closing my work computer when I am done for the day, putting it away in a quiet safe place in my night table where it will not trouble me until the next work day. Others are more elaborate, such as celebrating successes at work or writing or any area of life by cooking an epic meal. I fully agree with you -- rituals really help ground me, and have made this time a little more palatable than it otherwise would have been :)
We’re loving that show, toooo!!
I started journaling after dinner, and it feels like a nice way to set off the evening? I can sort through my feelings before bedtime and I think it's helping. Also my skincare routine mornings and evenings has turned into a sort of ritual that let's me either build myself up for the day, or unwind before bedtime. I feel like I'm taking care of myself, AND it's relaxing.
After reading a few of these comments, I wish I could honor them better.
I've been having my kid read to me at night. We were supposed to have been doing that all along, and it's honestly borne more of a desire to keep her from falling behind (that desire is on the shelf of "things to be examined later") than from any heartwarming urge to create memories. And in practice, it's not beautiful or comforting in the moment. Because really - early chapbooks aren't the most gripping reading material out there unless you're 7.
It'll matter someday, though. For now, that's enough.
We always have two to three shows we cycle through of an evening, over dinner and dessert. Always one longer, more in-depth thing and one shorter show that’s easy/cozy in some way. Or at least something short without subtitles, as our recent longer shows tended to be non-Anglophone. That’s a current ritual. I used to always pick up a midday coffee from our cafe in the before times. There is less excuse to be out running errands so these days I just make midday tea.